Jennifers Heart
Jennifer wanted to just forget everything, and go on with her life, but with Trace gone, life seemed useless. She went to work every day, came home to a cat, and a tv dinner, then like usual, she cried herself to sleep, clutching the pillow where Trace laid his head, that was now empty. Her mother was worried about her, and called faithfully every evening to check on her. Jennifer had to admit that she was worried about too! She had always been able to fight off depression through work, but now, it just seemed to linger over her like a blanket. It felt especially deep that day that she heard a knock on her apartment door. She didn't want to be bothered at all, by anyone. Dragging up from the sofa, she reluctantly made her way to it. She opened it quickly.
"I don't want any magazines, or whatever you have to offer, I just want to be left alone," she shouted, her eyes filled with tears.
"I'm sorry," the soft voice said.
The tenderness she heard in the voice made her look up. There before her stood a tall man, with gentle eyes, smooth brown skin. He was definitely of Mexican decent, and was wearing a Military uniform. Trace use to laugh at her because she always got the branches wrong, but she thought it looked like Trace's, which was Army.
"What do you want, she said softly, feeling a shame, for how she had yelled at a perfect stranger.
" I don't want to buy anything, sorry," she said, looking up into brown eyes, that seemed to draw her in.
"Sorry Ma'am, I'm not selling anything. "
Jennifer noticed how he shifted from foot to foot. He obviously wanted something
"Well, just what is it then? She felt herself getting aggravated. She just wanted him to go away. Well, what is it?"
He looked down, then quickly up at her.
"I'm Corporal Hector Hernandez. I just wanted to meet the woman who's have in my chest, and say thank you. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for Captain Davis. He stood silent, looking at her.
Jennifer couldn't believe the words he just said. Her eyes lowered leveling at his- chest. Suddenly she felt her hand moving until it was laying softly on the chest. It was beating, strong, and steady. Trace's heart was beating , and steady. It was alive. Then she collapsed!
knows where the love of her life heart beats alive & well in Corporal Hector Hernandez's chest!
This song says it well. When someone never stop to think that the heart can often beat on to save another life now Jennifer does!
Enjoy the song & the message it sends
Celine Dion - Where Does My Heart Beat Now + Lyrics
I do NOT own the music itself.This is my 2nd video! I hope you like it.It's a song of Celine Dion. She sang it in 1989, a year after she won the Eurovision Song festival 1988 with the song 'Ne parte...
When she awoke she was lying on the sofa with a cold towel on her head, and the stranger standing over her. She quickly removed the towel and sat up.
"Are you okay, he asked kneeling down beside her, his brown eyes looking into hers.
"Get out,she yelled...get out."
He looked at her, as he got up, and walked slowly to the door.
"I'm sorry, he said as he opened the door to leave. The stopped, turned around and walked back, stopping only inches from her.
"I won't bother you again, he said. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am to be alive. Captain Davis was a great officer to all his regiment ."
Jenifer felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, as she heard the door close behind him. It's just not fair, she said out loud....it's just not fair. Why did he have to come. She was trying to get over Trace's death, now to know that his heart was living in another mans chest, was more than she could bear. She felt it beating, just like she felt it beat every night when she fell asleep lying close to Trace, her hand softly draped across him. Now how was she suppose to go on knowing this? She had stood at Trace's grave, said goodbye to him, at least she thought she'd said goodbye. The casket was a closed one, since their helicopter had crashed leaving very little to bury of eighteen men. She'd taken the flag they had given her, forced a smile, and held back the tears, as people passed giving their condolences . Everything seemed final...as final as death could be. Now nothing was final except Trace's remains in the grave while his heart had truly come home!
Jennifer wants it all like it use to be with Trace. Her heart is broken...and she would love for it to not be so, as the song says..."Un-Break My heart" Taken a listen to the songs that voice's Jennifer's feeling.
Something wasn't right. All night, sleep evaded her. How could this soldier have her husbands heart, if the wreck of the helicopter was so extensive. She had to find out. Her mother was right . There had to be more to the story. She got up, and turned on her computer. Logging into the search engines, and typed in, requirements for a heart transplant. Her eyes widen in astonishment. One had to have it on their drivers license , requesting to be a organ donor. She eased down in her chair as she read on, remembering the morning Trace signed the back of his drivers license to be a donor. She wanted to sign hers too, but, because she was a diabetic, she wasn't allowed to. Most organs, that were donated, were kept alive by medications, and transported as quickly as possible, to the facility that needed them. It said something that made her stop, as the tears, flooded down her cheeks. It said, organ transplants were usually, when persons were brain dead, all life functions had ceased. She hit the button, and the computer went off. She had to know the truth. Just how did Trace really die. She had to find Hector Hernandez. He had all the answers she needed. Did he really have her husbands heart, the man who always said to her, how blessed he felt to be loved by her. That loving her made his life worth living. Oh! how she missed him now. She knew how it felt to be loved, but would she ever feel it again, she doubted it, but at least she knew how it felt. Trace had shown her .
She had to know what really happen to him. She had to find Hector Hernandez!
Jennifer realizes now how blessed she was to have been loved by Trace, and how special love really is !
It was a bit more difficult than she'd imagined, finding Hector Hernandez. Information was only available to family members, which she was not. Luckily, when she recounted her story, about Trace,and his unit, and his death, and about Hector coming to see her, confessing that he was the transplant recipient of her husbands heart, that they released the where about of Hector , with his address, and phone number, to her. He had come a long way to see her, over one thousand miles. He lived in Los Angles. A place called "Watts." Jennifer wasn't sure if she should venture there after the clerk said it was one of the most troubled part on L.A, because of all the murders there. After talking to her mother, she decided to go. She had to know the truth, and Hector knew it! Not sure in how long she was going to stay, she took a week's leave form the law firm she and Trace once shared, and bought the ticket to Los Angles. From there, she would rent a car, and drive to Watts. Being from a small town in Boston, where is was scenic, serene, and quiet, she could only imagine what the inner city was like form what news was reported, and she didn't like what she heard.
Jennifer knows the fear that is trying to over take her senses, and it was a fear well founded. LA was a big city, and a tough one, with gangs. Will she be able to face those fears long enough to get the truth from Hector?
As the plane glides across the sky, taking her to LA, she remembers another time she and Trace were on a flight, taking them to Aruba. It was their honeymoon, and she remembered the song Trace played for her that evening, on the piano "I Know I'll Never Love This Way Again." As she closes her eyes the memory floods back...listen.....
Jennifer welcomed the warm weather for a change, as she stepped from the plane. It was so cold, and blistery, in Boston when she left. Looking around the airport she walked slowly to the open doors and walked out, feeling the sun on her face. Passengers were passing by, meeting others, and exchange welcomes, as they hugged and kissed . There were soldiers laughing happily, and she knew they were happy to be on American soil again, as they hugged family members. That was what she remembered doing, when Trace returned from his first deployment in Afghanistan.
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and dispersed the memories away. Now was not the time to think about Trace. She had to think only of finding Hector Hernandez. She sat her luggage by her side, on the floor, which consisted of one small suitcase. She wouldn't be staying long, maybe a day or two, at a hotel near the address the clerk had given her for Hector. . Just long enough to find him, and get the answers she needed.
"Jenny."
She heard a voice behind her, call her name. For a moment, she thought it was Trace. He always called her Jenny.
She turned, almost in a panic, feeling the tears rolling down her cheeks. For an instant, just an instant, when she turned, she thought she saw Trace. But, when her eyes focused, and cleared from the tears, it wasn't Trace at all. But the man she was looking for, Hector Hernandez .
For one moment, Jennifer relives memories of sweeter days, as she watches the soldiers, sharing happy reunions, the hugs, and the kisses. For an instant...just an instant, Trace was there, alive again. This song shares her thoughts about sweeter days, that will always live on in her heart........listen
Jennifer couldn't believe her eyes. She thought it might be difficult to find him,but now, there he stood before her. Not dresses in a uniform as he was when he stood in the floor of her living room apartment, a few months ago, and dropped that bomb, about having Trace's heart beating in his chest. No, he was dressed in a business suit, and looking extremely handsome. His black hair was combed neatly, and his shoes were designer made, and his brown eyes were clear and direct as he looked at her.
"Trace said you'd be coming, I just didn't know when," he smiled at her, as he reached down and picked up the small suitcase on the floor beside her.
Jennifer felt her heart leap. What did he mean, Trace told him? How could Trace tell him anything....or, tell any one anything, since he was dead ,and had been for over six months now.
She reached over, jerking the suitcase from his hand.
"What kind of cock and bull statement is that?" she said loudly, as people around them turned to see what was going on between them.
"I'll explain it all to you at my place. He reached over, taking the suitcase again. That's if you really want to know." He stood looking at her. Then started walking away quickly, before she could protest any more. She quickened her steps to almost a run to keep up. There was a sadness on his face when he said.."If you really want to know"...almost as if he didn't want to tell her what she wanted to know. Like, she could be hurt anymore deeply than she already was. Whatever it was, it might be the closure she needed to help her go on. Her mother said "The truth will set you free"
Jennifer sure hoped she was right. Either way she had to know the truth, even if it hurt.
Jennifer wants to know the truth, even if it hurts. This song speaks it well...listen
Jennifer wasn't sure she should be following along so willingly. She really didn't know anything about him, except that he was Spanish. Her connection with Spanish people consisted of one summer working for legal aide in Boston, and that had been Trace's idea. He wanted to give back to a friend he went to college with, who was working with inner city Mexican gangs. She remembered it well, the feelings of fear she had to force back, as Trace and Raul spent time doing free legal work, counseling, playing basketball, and eating Mexican food, that totally disrupted her digestive system, but never seemed to bothered them at all. And the home visits too. She felt totally out of place, while Trace spent hours laughing and talking with the families. Everyone love him, and Raul...but eyed her with skepticism. She tried her best, but she just felt scared all the time. She often wished to see people through Trace's eyes's She joked with him about giving her his eyes, in order to see the world & people like he did, he would just smile, and kiss her tenderly on the nose, and say "Just look with your's Jenny......just look with your's from your heart." But she never seemed to be able to do that, so It made for a long Summer. The only positive thing she felt she accomplished, was learning to speak Spanish in the 8 weeks they were there. She wasn't fluent in it, but knew enough to understand. And now, she eyed Hector, as they exited the airport. If Trace knew him, then she knew what was coming next. A ride in some old broken down car, that led to some gang infested neighborhood, where Hector probably worked, and lived. It would be like reliving that Summer with Trace all over again, and she wasn't sure if she could, after all that had happened with Trace.
Her mind was so engrossed with those thoughts, that she bumped straight into Hector. He had stopped walking, and motioned to somebody, then nodded, and started to walk again.
"We'll have to walk to the car, Jose couldn't get a closer spot. Hope you don't mind."
Jennifer nodded, as she followed him. Her mind was trying to comprehend what he said. Did he say his driver?
As the Limo pulled up to the curb, she knew she had heard right, as the driver got out, took the single suitcase, put it in the trunk, then opened the door for them. She felt woozy as she got in, and rested her head against the fine white leather seat. Perhaps it was the California heat, or the leather jacket she was wearing, which was more suitable for the Boston temp's then L.A . She started to feel more light headed than she'd ever felt before. She quickly pulled at her jacket, almost ripping it from her body, everything was starting to go dark.
The sweat was beginning to pour from her body, as her head slowly lowered, she knew she was passing out, but not before she heard him ask the driver to take him home, in Spanish!
Jennifer has certain memories, certain stereotypes in her mind about people, and times pass...her world has always been one of looking through "Rose Colored Glasses" of her own making. Seeing things through her own background, and upbringing. Will she be able to use those eyes that Trace always told her to use , and take off those "Rose Colored Glasses" and see people, and places, as they truly are? It's a question she will have to answer sooner than she expected!
This song says it well!
When her eyes opened, she found herself lying on a long white sofa. She sat up slowly, realizing she hadn't eaten since she left Boston. She knew, that was the reason why she had fainted. Her stomach was growling like a bear for food. Suddenly, she felt there was someone else in the room. Turning, she looked into the eyes of a small boy. He had the most serene brown eyes, which made her automatically think of Trace. It was his brown eyes that attracted, her on there first meeting at Boston University. It was the day of registration. She had a load of books in her hand, and tripped, scattering all her books, and papers over the grass. Then a hand helped her up, smiled, and collected everything for her. They had lunch together, and from that first day, she knew they would be together, and they were, the whole four years, even in grad school too.
"Uncle, she's awake," the boy shouted as he ran from the room. Jennifer straightened her cloths, and tried to look professional, as she thought of the small boy. He was about four, dressed in jeans and a tee shirt, with words on the front that said "God Is Love."
"So, I see Sleeping Beauty has woke up How are you feeling," he asked as he sat a plate of fruit, crackers, and lemonade in front of her."
Jennifer didn't' want him to see how hungry she was, but she couldn't hide it. She reached for the fruit, shoving it into her mouth, then downed some of the lemonade, and grabbed a few crackers.
"Where am I?" She continued to eat, but more slowly now as she looked up into the eyes of Hector Hernandez. He was still dressed in the same suit she remembered before she blacked out. His caramel skin showing a slight shadow of a unshaven face. He looked taller than when he stood in her apartment living room. More muscular, but not to much, with his hair combed straight back, flat, and close to his head. When he turned to take a seat beside her, she could see that it was in a pony tail. She didn't like men who wore ponytails. She had seen a lot of it that summer, working in Boston with the Spanish people.
"Next time you travel, be sure to eat." He said, looking straight into her eyes.
Jennifer want to give a snappy reply, but decided eating was more important.
"To answer your first question, you're in my home, in Pasadena."
Jennifer noticed his eyes never looked away from her, so she looked away. There was something about the way he looked at her...as if he could see inside her. A feeling she didn't like at all.
"Was that you nephew, I heard him call you uncle?"
He looked away, then back at her.
"Yes, that my deceased sister's Marisol son. Tomas."
Then he did something totally unexpected, he gently laid his hand on hers, then took a deep breath. Jennifer knew something was about to be said. She remembered how he had said to her leaving the airport"Do you really want to know?" and she knew it was something that was going to hurt her deeply.
"Tomas, is Trace's and Marisol son."
Jennifer stopped eating, as she looked silently at him. She wanted to scream, hit Trace for dying, and not telling her about his past, for hurting her so deeply.
"I want you to take me back to the airport, I want to go home."
She began to straighten her clothes. Now it was clear why Trace wanted to wait before they had a child...he already had one, and was hoping she would agree to raise Tomas with him, once he decided to tell her. He would often talked about his early teen years in L.A but was always evasive with any details. When they married, his folks had passed on, so she never had a chance to get to ask any questions . She felt the tears fill her eyes. Their whole life together had been a lie!
"Uncle," the small voice said, causing Jennifer to look up through a mist of tears. He was a beautiful boy. Jennifer knew his mother had to be, as she looked at him standing there. She couldn't hate him, she wanted to, but she just couldn't.
"What's wrong with the lady, he asked as he leaned against Hector. He stared at Jennifer, forcing her to wipe away the tears, as she released a smile, which he returned quickly.
"Nothing Tomas, Hector said, kissing him. Isabella has lunch ready..go eat."\
Jennifer watched him happily walk away, all the while wondering how Trace could have hidden this from her. The child had Trace's eyes, there was no mistaking that. She looked over at Hector, who was just watching her...waiting.
Tomas had Trace's eyes, while Hector had Trace's heart.
"Would you and your guest like lunch here Pastor?"
Jennifer collapsed back on the sofa again.
She called him Pastor. Jennifer just stared in disbelief.
It was all to much to take in, she saw the room becoming darker, and once again the lights went out!
Jennifer is overwhelmed,
with everything, as we all can get at times..it all seems a little to much for her. This song says how she's feeling inside....listen and relate to her feelings
When She opened her eyes again, there was a array of people standing over her. Including a man with a stereoscope, which she knew, meant he was a doctor.
"I'm alright, she said quickly, sitting up, jerking her hand away form the doctor, who was now taking her pulse.
She looked around frantically, where is he," she asked .
Then she felt a warm hand touch her shoulder from behind. She turned quickly, looking into the eyes of Hector Hernandez.
"I'm right here Jenny, he replied. I think it's about time we talked."
He nodded, and she watched the room quickly empty, until only the two of them were left.
"There's something I want to show you, he said, as he sat down again beside her. He reached into his pant pocket, pulling out his wallet, flipping through pictures, until finally, he stopped. She noticed, that he stared at it a long time, then turned it in her direction, for her to see.
There was Trace, sitting holding hands with the most beautiful Spanish girl she'd ever seen. And in his lap was a very small baby, which she knew had to be Tomas.
Her eyes began to fill with tears again, but she forced them back. It hurt to think that Trace loved another, before her. But here was the proof, staring her right in the face.
"I've known Trace a very long time Jenny, a very long time. Hector's voice was low, as he looked at her. Trace wanted to tell you so many times, just didn't now how. He'd kept his secret so long. He never thought that Marisol would die, and leave Tomas without a mother. And then, when he met you, and knew how loving you were, he naturally wanted to bring his son home, where he could receive the love he deserved, with you."
"No!, No...Jennifer, jumped up quickly. I want no part of this...no part." She suddenly looked at him, then noticed something she'd never seen before, or that had escaped her attention. There was a wedding ring on his left hand, third finger, He was married. She pointed to it, her hands shaking.
"You're married, why don't you, and your wife keep taking care of him, like you're doing now?"
She was surprised when he chuckled softly.
"This ring, is my outward commitment to my Lord Jesus Christ. Its just a reminder for me to always live to serve him. I have no wife, but, maybe one day soon. He looked up into her eyes . I'm not Catholic Jenny, I'm a Baptist Preacher.
"Stop calling me Jenny, she said, rushing towards him. Only Trace had the right to call me Jenny." She looked at him, her eyes flared in anger.
"Then what should I call you? He stood up, and walked to her, there faces only inches a part.
"Should I call you "The Lady", like my nephew Tomas?"
Jennifer just stood frozen. He was to close in her comfort zone, and she didn't like it one bit!
It had been a log time since she stood this close to a man, to smell the scent of his cologne, look deep into a man's eyes, and, even though she denied it, she felt moved by his presence.
Then, she couldn't believe her eyes. She watched his hand slowly moved towards her face. She wanted to move out of the way, but her legs weren't going anywhere.
"Look Through your eyes Jenny, he said softly, his warm breath touching her cheek, with your heart."
Jennifer was spellbound, as his arms wrapped around her, and surprisingly, she didn't pull away, as her head rested on his chest. There it was, the beating of his heart, that wasn't his heart at all, but Trace's heart.
How could he know those exact words, she wondered. The exact words Trace had spoken to her that Summer in Boston, when she was so afraid of the Spanish gangs they worked with. At that moment, she didn't care how he knew those exact words...it was just Trace's heart that she was listening to, that's all that mattered!
What's happening, Jennifer isn't sure, but for now the sound of Trace's heart beating in Hectors chest is a comfort.
What was she doing? it suddenly dawned on her. Here she was, in the arms of a total stranger. She pulled away, only to have his arms tighten around her.
"Let me go, she shouted, wiggling away from him, as her hand slapped the side of his face with all the force she had in her. .
She was shaking so badly, that she didn't know what to do. She backed away, not sure of what, his reaction would be.
"This is all just a lie, the whole story, she said in a shaky voice. Trace would have told me if all of this was really true."
He still stood in front of her, silent. Then he turned and walked quickly away.
Jennifer knew she had really lost it. How disappointed her mother would be at that precise moment. She was a devote church goer, and loved the Lord. How could she ever tell her that she had slapped a preacher. She lowered her head into her hands.
She heard something hit the table, and opened her eyes. It was an envelope.
"Maybe these will answer all your questions." He turned and walked away, leaving her alone with the envelope there in front of her.
She could tell it was a thick one, as she undid the clasp that held it closed. All the papers fell out at once. She slowly, picked them up. Her eyes widen. There it was, Tomas birth certificate, with Traces signature under where it said child father, and Marisol's signature, where it said mother. Then, she saw another document that said, recipient of heart transplant Hector Hernandez, donor...Trace Davis. Everything was true...all of it. Her heart sank inside her, as she curled up on the sofa, staring at the undeniable evidence that verified everything she so wanted to be false. She heard footsteps coming towards the sofa, and sat up quickly. It was Hector. He sat silently for a few moments.She was so ashamed.
"I'm so sorry, so sorry, for slapping you, she said with down cast eyes. There's no excuse for my actions."
He smiled, then patted her hand.
"Never been slapped by a woman before, been kissed, but never slapped....you have a strong hand."
Jennifer couldn't help but smile. He had a sense of humor. She couldn't say the same for herself, if the shoe were on the other foot.
"I wasn't being, how you would say "Fresh"...just knew you needed a hug at that time.
Jennifer nodded.
"How did you know Trace told me, to "look with my eyes, through my heart?" She wiped her eyes with her hands, as she waited for his answer.
He sat back. She watched him as if he were struggling with her question.
"Ever heard about recipients who received donor organs, and start having thoughts, ideas, feelings from the donor?" He turned facing her.
Jennifer had read somewhere about it, and just blew it off as something false, strange, and untrue.
" I'm going to tell you somethings about you that only Trace would know."
"Like what, she questioned, knowing there was no way he could know anything personal about her. Trace & her relationship was just between the two of them.
He looked at her and smiled.
" Like the fact, that you wore Trace's army boots under your wedding dress, and no one knew but you & Trace."
Jennifer looked skeptically at him."Trace probably told you that, since you two were friends." She curled her feet up beneath her on the sofa, relaxing a bit.
"And that you have a birthmark on the back of your neck shaped like a flower, a rose ."
Jennifer's hand instantly moved to the back of her neck., then away."
"That doesn't mean anything, he could of told you that too."
"I see you're not convinced, that leaves only one thing. May I whisper something to you them?"
Jennifer slowly, nodded yes.
He moved closer. "Promise you won't slap me again, but this is the only thing I know, that will convince you, that I'm telling the truth..... promise?"
Jennifer nodded.
He leaned over, and whispered, then moved away.
Jennifer moved away shocked, her hand cupping her mouth in disbelief.
She just sat still. No one knew that about her but Trace, and he swore to her that he would keep her secret, and he did.
"When did all this start, she questioned...how...why?"
Hector shook his head.
"Can't answer that, but its been happening for awhile now...dreams..visions about you, and Tomas"
" The letter, did you read it?"
"What letter, she asked, surprised. I didn't see a letter."
He took the envelope, and reached deep inside, pulling out a white envelope.
" This one." He handed it to her.
Jennifer could see, that it was still tightly sealed.
"Do you know what's in it."
He shook his head..."No, Trace left it for you, in the event something happened to him. I think you should read it alone."
He got up from the sofa.
"I've got a meeting at the church tonight. He smiled, broadly. I'm coaching the youth basketball team tonight. You'll stay the night?" He looked at Jennifer. Then I can take you to the airport, when ever you decide. Anything you need, just ask Isabella." With those words, he walked away, leaving her alone, the letter in her hands.
As Jennifer reads the letter, she relives memories of happier times they shared together. As Trace tells her, why he loves her, tears start to roll from her eyes. His love was true, not a lie, as she had assumed. He did love her, he really did!
Listen to the words of this song, that speaks the words similar to the words written down on paper in Jennifer's hands, and share her visions of happiness!
More to Come!
...!.
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