How often when you read a book, do you really get excited about it.... It really moved you... it said something to you. Reading always shows you how certain thoughts are put on paper. Some writers do it well, and when that happens , you are captured and held to the story line, or article. When words are not put together well on paper, you have no feelings about what was said, the words failed to impress you. It's the writer's job to impress you. Every book you read is showing the writer's ability to impress you, you must be aware of how he/or she did it.
You must be aware of the writers' techniques in writing. How they put sentences together, the words that are used to develop pictures in your mind so you can see the story happening.. how they describe the characters. If you learn to read as a writer it will help develop your own writing skills. You will begin to see where the writer pulled you into the story, and how they did it. Was it through words, or action, dialogue, or setting. Watch the way he/or she handled sentences, paragraphs, or different phrases, maybe even used words you never thought of using before. A lot of the writing problems you are facing have been faced by the author of the book, and they solved them. Study their techniques, their strength, their weaknesses. What did they do well, or not do so well.. Then corporate these techniques in your own writing style, and you will see your own writing style improve dramatically. You are no longer a member of the reading audience, you must now learn how they cast their spell over you with their words.